Well today would be Leap day not another for 4 more years. Ah well it is a perfect day to remember though, my baby has his DARE graduation today. David has been trying really hard for this and is really proud of himself just as his dad and I are so proud of him.
So it seems like every time something goes my way 10 things go badly right with it. Found out while I was sick the last 2 weeks and couldn't move felt like absolute shit well it turns out that I was having withdrawls from my pain patch.It was miserable then after figuring this out it took a few hours to feel slightly better which was nice but then it took another 3 days to feel much better, but then I had to go to the doctor cause my leg was killing me and it kept going numb, they did an ultrasound on my whole leg and found 3 blood clots one in my knee on in my calf and one in my foot between the 3 of them they are putting pressure on certain nerves and causing the leg to go numb it is insainly crazy and annoying and even painfull. So they gave me 2 shots, one I know was a blood thinner not sure what the other was for, but then sent me home on a blood thinner and left me with strict instructions to stay off of it, they even tried to get me to use a walker again. NOT HAPPENING! I have agreed to use my cane when I am out doing something that can't be avoided, like dropping the kids off at school or picking them up on days that Adger can't get off early enough or has duty. So I will go back in a week and see what they find or don't find and see if they will let me off bed rest which will be awesome because I on advice from Allison got the zumba for the wii and then got an exercise game for the kids.
Oh so we are all learning Latin and about to start American Sign Language as well. Kids are seeming to enjoy the latin lessons we started only 3 days ago and the kids can already count to 20 recognize almost all the numbers in latin, they can also say and recognize most of their colors, and we can say good morning as well. It has been nice with all of them being excited to learn it all.
ah well I have to try to get a nap before I have to be at the school for the DARE graduation.

wrote days ago forgot to publish somehow

So David came home from school today and said he had a good day but there was something in the way that he said it that I new something was wrong but figured it he wanted to talk that he would. So we get home and McKenzie and Jacob go out to play with their friends and David and Kaleb decided that they were gonna play some video games in the house. Adger and I laid down to watch Justified. All seemed so right in our world for a good 30 mins, then David started screaming at Kaleb. Adger not sure what to expect what was about to happen especially after last time went to see what was going on and David ended up yelling at his daddy, probably not meaning to, so of course Adger yelled back. So David in an abundant amount of tears was sent to his room. I gave him a few mins then asked him to join me in my room. He came in and sat on the bed and then laid in my arms to cry. I love my son and I know he loves me but he has not laid like that since he was little. I mean really mom an 11 year old that wanted to curl up in mommy's arms and cry WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? So I let him cry it out for awhile then Adger came in and asked him what was going on and of course he doesn't wanna talk because he is still crying but more of an embarrassed cry cause daddy is in the room. So after talking to him for a bit we find out, and hope that this is all that has been going on with him these last few months that he has been so angry, that he is upset that he isn't being home schooled, mainly because of the part where he doesn't have to get up and get dressed every morning and get ready for school. So we explained to him the things that he gets to do that Kaleb and Jacob wont get to do. Talk about making me feel like a shitty mom! I have a son who thinks that I don't like him because I don't home school him like I do his brothers. Had to explain that Kaleb and Jacob would not do well in a school setting that they just don't have the social skills to be in a regular school. I am not sure if he really understands or if he still thinks that I love them more than him. If you know David you know how utterly impossible that is, he is such a sweetheart he would do anything for anyone. He so reminds me of his Uncle Marshall when he was younger. He also had a big heart and would do anything for anyone. I would give anything for him to turn out like his Uncle Marshall, or his father. I just hope that he can see his own path to get there that doesn't include his anger issues.
So as my night goes on I am so realizing where the anger from my son comes from, HIS FATHER!!! My husband is freaking out that the house is not clean and telling my kids that after dinner they are cleaning the whole house. OMG REALLY! I know they have a chore list but when we are trying to do home work or school work does he just expect me to come and watch them get all of it done. Oh that's right I forgot he does.
After the night I had last night and the day I have had I wish I could just go to sleep and call it a day. I got a couple things going for my this weekend tomorrow gonna go out with the freeman family and go skating. Then on Sunday it is the super bowl, not that I care but David wants to watch it.

Feel like I have gotten slapped in the face

So life has been slapping me in the face left and right, David is failing school but not because he is not smart enough or hell that he hasn't even done the work but he isn't turning it in and we all know he is smart enough to do it. His teacher said he came back from being out for a couple of days with no prep work for a math test and scored and 86 on it could you imagine if he had the study time the rest of the kids had. UGH so having to make deals with him to get him to get his freaking head on straight. McKenzie is just absolutely refusing to do anything for her teachers unless it is something she wants to do. How ridiculous can one little girl be. Course Jacob is being the same way and he is at home with me and I cant get him to do half his work. Kaleb well he will do the work but in absolute protest. I tried going to a friends house to kinda hang out, let the kids play and learn about more cirriculum ideas for next year and my kids had my nerves on a broken piece of sting by the time we finally got home. I was really worried that though my girlfriend knows my kids all have issues was going to be quite mad at me even though my children weren't the only ones there and werent the only ones causing issues. I am most certainly not going to name names or point fingers when I have children who act like mine do.
My doctors only made things worse by putting me on complete bed rest until I am seen again. UH 4 KIDS ASSHOLES THAT DOESN'T REALLY WORK FOR US!!!!! We have gotten lucky enough Adger has been here all month but that hasn't changed the fact that I have to take the kids to and from school and make dinner and get home work done and find clothes for them to wear or that lost shoe when we are already 10 mins late, or teacher conferences or all these damn things that they need volunteers for. Sure the basketball game and cheer leading volunteer thing was easy they made accomidations for me to sit the whole time which was nice I even had my leg up the whole time. But you can only imagine what my house looks like right now. And my wonderful husband says I appreciate that you are finally adhearing to bed rest but you can still give the kids a job to do as far as cleaning and they can get it done. Uh Adger I would like you to meet Kaleb, David, Jacob, and McKenzie they would be our children ya know the ones you have to stand over to get anything done and you think it is easy from bed. HA you try it. Managed to get Jacob to come help me go through a bunch of clothes that I need to get rid of that have made a mountain in my room and instead of being even the least bit appreciative Adger threatens to throw Jacob's things away because he wasn't cleaning his own room. So I explain what happened and then I get yelled at for not remembering that Jacob was supposed to clean his room today. I am beyond tired of being treated like a child. I am for everyones sake obeying doctors orders to the best of my damn obility for the first time in years and am still getting life all wrong. (at least according to my husband)
Oh and my new favorite (if ya don't wanna know about my sex life don't read the next paragraph) is that one of the medicatons my doctor has put me on is totally preventing me from having an orgasm. WONDERFUL right! about the only thing I can look forward to being in bed and I can't even get that. And believe me it is not for lack of trying, Adger is the best lover I have ever had and if he knows that my meds are doing this to me he will try til I tell him to give up, however this is the second time that this has happened so I haven't told him what is going on, probably not the brightest idea I have had right now but what difference is it going to make even if he knows I wont get one which is probably why I have so much built up tension. And believe you me I have made sure we have tried almost everyday for 2 and a half weeks. So you would think my husband would have to be one of the happiest men alive right now, I mean how many men can say after 4 kids that his wife wants to have sex everyday more than once a day at that? Not to many.
Anyway now that I have stopped the cymbalta the involuntary muscle spasms have stopped and I don't feel so much like I am in my own little dark corner much anymore. I am still very depressed and I am pretty sure that being stuck in bed has nothing to do with it. Something else just seems so off in me and I don't know what it is. I wish I could figure it out and make it go away or just cut that part out of me. I did tell them though that the depression meds would make it worse and no one would listen. Ah well I am coming out of that little funk. Happy to start being me again.
Well off to bed gotta get up early tomorrow thanks goodness we have a 3 day weekend.
Rant more tomorrow!

Midnight escapade

So fun fun, Kaleb and I went shopping at Walmart at 145am yesterday morning. We didn't have any food for breakfast so I was gonna stop up at Walmart as soon as we got paid but love Bank of America they didn't release our funds until almost 2 but I wasn't gonna go until I was sure the money was there. Well surprise surprise, not only did we get out pay check we also got Kaleb's SSI payment and our state taxes, course I told Adger that would happen, filed both our federal and our state at the same time but there was a delay on the federal for anyone who filed before the 26th which sucks. But anywhoo so we went and picked up pj's for pajama day for Kenzie and David and got them slippers too. Got some food, and a couple of movies, we got the 2nd season of Burn Notice for Kaleb (he got the first season for Christmas) but he cant find the first one. We got the 3rd season of Big Band Theory, which is cool cause other than MASH, it is something Adger has gotten into watching with me. I also bought the first season of Justified not only to watch but to replace the one my mother lent me. I felt bad because I haven't been able to find it and I didn't want her to be out a season. So we finished up at Walmart, checked out at 300, got home got everything put away and went to bed. We got up at 7 surprised the 2 with their new pj's and slippers. Got them off to school and then had to run out to Norfolk and get new stickers for the van to be able to get on base. Then finally got to go meet up with a friend for lunch and then went to the home school store to try and pick out a new curriculum for the boys next year, I am gonna go back out there today with out Kaleb because he really rushed me through what I was trying to do. He was really good though considering another friend came in with all 7 of her little ones and they sure were making a lot of noise. I was really surprised he did so well. He even played with the kids. But after about 45 mins he was ready to go so I managed to get him a math course but that was about it, I found a history course I am interested in for both boys I am gonna have to look it up on line cause they were out of the first level. So anyway we searched everything we came home with including the truck and couldn't find any of the movies we bought, I was so pissed of. I mean after having been at Walmart at 2 in the morning when all the crazy people get their food stamps money and go out shopping in the middle of the night. Course on this night/morning I was one of them LOL. So I called the store and told them that I didn't have my movies when I got home, they asked if I remembered what register I checked out at, nope not at 3 in the morning I didn't. But then told me just bring in the recipt and they would check the tapes. What the hell did the tapes have to do with it? So I got up there and after running around in circles telling my story 7 or 8 times they told me to go pick out my movies again. When I went to pick them out I could tell that someone had put my movies back. They also gave me a gift card for 40 bucks due to their stupidity!